Did you write it yet?

It always amazes me, that when I decide to do something with Betsy how easily I forget that agreeing to do something with her means I need to commit 100% from the word "yes." I can remember hearing stories about Betsy, when she could not wait (and usually didn't wait) to do things that she was excited about. During the first ten years of marriage, that never changed. For example, when we wanted to paint, we would go to the store, spend a lot of time trying to choose colors and when we found the right one, we would buy the paint and return home. As soon as we would get home she was ready to start painting and the sissy that I was, wanted to game-plan how we were going to do this, with the hope that we would start the next day, week or whatever. Move forward and you would think that I could remember this. Since we wrote our first blog together, I have been asked at least once a day, "have you written on the blog?"

Now, I appreciate and find it great that when Betsy commits to something she is in all the way and is excited about it. Me on the other hand seems to find the 'idea' of doing it more exciting then actually having to do anything. I admit that I have some sort of laziness bug (I blame my family) that sometimes distracts me from things I should be doing. For example, Betsy asked me this evening, "Have you written your blog yet?" At that moment I was involved in something very, very important, even almost life changing...

Well, I was updating my ipod and jotting down some very important tasks for tomorrow, such as check email when I get to work, stop at Starbuck's before work assuming I leave on time, and some other things that I cannot remember. You know, important stuff unlike someone I know playing 'angry birds' on her fancy ipad. I know what you are thinking because I thought it too, "Gosh Betsy, it is obvious rick has some things to do and is very busy, leave him alone, right? Instead of being an adult, I instantly turned 4 or 5 years old and acted as though Betsy interrupted me as if I was involved with a life or death situation. I am not sure why I acted that way, I would love to chalk it up to being a guy, because I am sure it would have probably been way easier to respond, "no honey, I have not gotten a chance yet, but I am planning to do it as soon I am finished, thank you for reminding me." Or even better, I could have posted something to the blog before her and not had to worry about it at all.

So I would like to take this time to announce that I am not going to get as distracted as I normally do, and that I am going to try and act a little older than 4 or 5. The sad reality is that it may happen, and it may not, at least not as fast as preferred or expected. Well at least today anyways! The great news is that now instead of watching a horribly boring Monday night football game, I get to watch "It's complicated." Yeah, I admitted that out loud, don't judge me!

Cheers,

Rick

What do you mean?

In my opinion, listening is a skill that we will always both be working on in our marriage. I know I'm guilty of getting distracted and not devoting my entire attention to Rick and what he's saying.

Usually, I try to hide it by just pretending I've heard what he's said, then later, if it comes up, I must either admit I wasn't listening or claim that he never told me that in the first place.

He's guilty too. Lately, I've noticed a new tactic. Instead of saying "What?" when he's not listening, he says, "What do you mean?" But, it's not working out so well.

For example, today, I said, "I think we should turn this into a playroom." Rick said, "What do you mean?" My response was, "I mean, I think we should turn this into a playroom. Really, what else might that mean?"

Maybe we should quit pretending and just say, "Sorry. I wasn't listening. Please repeat."

The Rules

One thing we learned in our first ten years of marriage is that anything new can spur a good fight. But, this project is supposed to be fun, so we thought we better establish some guidelines for our posts.

Rule #1
If someone gets their "feelings" hurt, the blog comes down.

Rule #2
No shots below the belt. After 10 years, we know where and how hard to hit. 

Rule #3
If there are stories that should not be shared, either spouse can play the "off the record" card at any time for any reason.

Rule #4
No mush-mush.

Rule #5
We promise to protect the identity of loved ones in the event of a really good story.

Cheers.
Rick & Betsy